last man out of eden

poetry.prose.play

How Are You Today

This is a poem about the question everyone asks but no one wants to know the answer to…

How are you today?

Me?
I’m broke.
I’ve got no coke
No dope
No smoke to toke
And every single DJ’s playing folk.
My best friend croaked.
He gagged himself on my first edition of Chuck Palahniuk’s Choke.
It’s like God’s Bob Hope
And my whole life’s his joke.
I’m a wheel without a spoke
I’m an egg without a yolk
I’m Facebook without pokes
I’m the Potteries except for Stoke
I’m the tsetse fly that woke
I’m Shep without John Noakes
I’m the New World Chardonnay they left unoaked
I’m a monogamous guy on Hollyoaks
I’m the e-mail you deleted that was not a hoax
I’m series two of Dexter without Doakes
I’m a self-employed vajazzler in a town that’s only blokes.

Me?
Oh, yeah, you know, I’m OKie-doke.

from Allographic at The Emperor in Cambridge on February 13th, featuring Fay Roberts, J S Watts, Mal Faloon and some very unliterary loos!

Ghosts at the Dinner Table and He Is In the Stars - two fabulous poetry zines by the brilliant Anna Percy

Ghosts at the Dinner Table and He Is In the Stars - two fabulous poetry zines by the brilliant Anna Percy

Words in Pictures #7 The New Libertines at Three Minute Theatre, Afflecks - and afterwards at The Castle

Words in pictures #6 The New Libertines at Three Minute Theatre, Afflecks, Manchester - our marvellous programme of performers - Laura Jarratt, Rachel Genn, Paul Askew, Claire Robertson, Elizabeth Baines, Sarah-Clare Conlon, Michael Stewart and Sian Rathore

“It was this long before I edited it” Dan Carpenter explains the secret of flash fiction. At least I think that’s what’s causing Sian Rathore’s look of consternation, and I can only assume it’s subconscious concision-envy that’s behind Paul Askew’s discretely-raised finger. From the New Libertines afterparty at The Castle

“It was this long before I edited it” Dan Carpenter explains the secret of flash fiction. At least I think that’s what’s causing Sian Rathore’s look of consternation, and I can only assume it’s subconscious concision-envy that’s behind Paul Askew’s discretely-raised finger.

From the New Libertines afterparty at The Castle

Words in Pictures #5 - the first of three sets of photos from The New Libertines at Three Minute Theatre in Afflecks. In this set, pictures of one of the best venues out there.

#4 in the words in pictures series. This is what I did after recording poetry on January 19th. Went to a Blackwell’s workshop given by the wonderful Nicola Morgan

#3 of my words in pictures series. A recording session in the back room at The Fir Tree with Maura and Phil from The Unfixed - a new poetry video site. Recordings of Monsters, Alibi, Her Body and This Is Oxford, including artful use of mirrors, shortly to appear!

Synopsis and Shoes

over at the blog today I got to ask all kinds of questions about writing a synopsis to the really rather super Nicola Morgan. A must-read for anyone who wants a publisher.